The biggest killer of a great career

Do you know what the biggest killer of a great career is?

No, it’s not eggs.

It’s comparison.

The moment you start to compare yourself to others, you diminish yourself.

Why? Because you’re comparing yourself to something you can’t match. Something that you can’t achieve.

You can’t be someone else.

Oh, you can copy them, you can strive to be them, you can do everything they do. But you can’t be them because they’ve already got that role taken. And they’re very very good at it. It comes naturally to them.

I’ve seen it over and over again in musical theatre auditions. A singer will work very hard on a piece they feel they should be able to sing. It’s outside their casting and their comfort zone, but they’ve done enough work to be able to perform it. They do a good job. Then the next singer walks in singing the same song, and it’s like the song was written for them. It’s smack in the middle of their comfort zone, it hits all their best points and they understand it on a deep level. They bring themselves, their talents and their personal history to the song in a way that the “miscast worker” can’t reproduce. And it’s a breeze. They could do the role 8 times a week plus 2 rehearsals as if it’s nothing. It’s so enjoyable for them because it’s a perfect match.

Should the miscast worker just work harder? Well it’s their choice. They might gain something but they’ll always be compared to the person who is in their element. If you’re a blue egg you can’t become a white egg no matter how hard you work at it.

What to do, what to do, what to do?

Comparison in this instance stems from two main problems: “they are doing better than I am” and “they are doing better than they should”

The reality is neither is useful. Since you are not inside someone else’s life you can’t know whether they’re doing better than you, because no-one tells you their entire life story – it would take far too long to tell and who’s interested in sticking around that long? And likewise, you can’t judge accurately if someone is doing better than you think they should because you don’t know what went into their successes and failures.

Both are essentially self-reflective points. Turn them around to say “I’m not doing as well as I want”, and “Something isn’t working for me”. It could be that you are ready for more work, or a higher fee, or a different kind of work. That’s a great position to be in – you’re ready for something different.

It could also mean that you carry a belief about you and your work; “I’m talented so why isn’t that being recognised?” Or “Why are other people of my age are in a different financial position?” Or simply “I’m jealous that this other person is getting things I think they don’t deserve.” That’s more insidious (“I’m not doing as well as I believe I should”).

Oddly enough the fix for all of the above could be the same.

Who am I?

The bottom line is that you don’t know what you do. Or who you are. Or what you offer. In the arts and education there is no “one journey to the top”. By finding your own place, level and pathway you start to engage in your own life and growth. You begin to measure your success by your own standards, not someone else’s. Once you realize that your path is unique, the pressure to compete with others fades away. You’re not competing with them, you’re expressing yourself. Your own life is taking shape. You’re no longer concerned with what others are doing – you’re too focused on your own journey. You stop worrying about other people and their apparent lives and start living your own.

It’s amazing how many times someone has come for a coaching session influenced by what someone else has done/said/sung. I work with them to analyse what other people do and find their own version, one that fits their voice/personality/history/career. And they often end up with something more unique, more fitted to them and ultimately easier to sustain. And equally valid.

Here’s the thing. If you are on this planet at this time and you’re a blue egg, there is a need for blue eggs. You wouldn’t be you if who you are wasn’t needed right now. You’ll never be a white egg to the people who want white eggs, they’ll ALWAYS see you as a blue egg. So work to become more you, become as much of a blue egg as you be, and the people who love blue eggs will see you and find you.

I’m off to feed the chickens now.

 

If you need help discovering your eggness, book an egg discovery session with me here